REAL ESTATE DISPOSITION MANAGEMENT ™

We represented both clients, seller and buyer, with a very high end home. It was small, yet custom. On the morning of closing we did a walk through, just to make sure the drinks were on ice when we got back from the paperwork. They were. We noticed something was off. The toilets were different. I look at the Seller and they are clueless. Apparently, they had hired a plumbing company to make sure everything was flowing perfectly and they had 'replaced' the $2,000 dollar toilets with $200 dollar ones. We went ahead, closed and sent the Sheriff to get the toilets back. Funny, but not really.

With on-line banking, many banks are downsizing their brick and mortar locations. We get a call. They had 40 locations in New England that they were shuttering. Typically, they are well maintained and in excellent locations. Who needs these, not other banks. We tried that. OK, what to do with the buildings? DRUG DEALERS. Marijuana Dispensaries. Perfect. They are flush with cash, have a vault, drive-up window and security. Look around your own town. Since I mentioned this several years back at a meeting, the idea has caught on. Granted, we did need to modify the ground leases to allow pharmaceutical usage. No one had an issue with that.

It was 10 acres of pure muck. But, healthy muck. Our Guy got scammed on the internet and what to do. After many years of paying that tax bill, he was done. I have an idea. Sell it to the neighbors. "I tried that". he said. "Well, you didn't try it my way". The neighbors were thinking. Why buy it when we are using it for free and my Guy can't sell it. They just needed a nudge. So, winter arrived and that shallow wetland freezes solid. My Clients 'Brother in Law' worked for an excavation company and they had a spare backhoe, orange tape and stakes. That got the neighbors attention. I get a call. "What are they doing"? I said. "They are mapping it for a motocross track". Sure, I embellished a bit but, they were the bad people. Sold the land to those 3 abutting owners with a Town Grant and a conservation easement. They are the ones who got a forever deal.

We needed to take aerial photos for a development project. We had already paid the Pilot for his time and he was offering NO refunds. There was a little technical issue though. It was September 12th. 2001. The day after 911.... The 'Tree Top Pilot' assured us it was not a problem. "If you say so". He did have my $100 bucks. After floating around getting photos the Pilot had a 'brilliant' idea. He wanted to circle the State Capitol building. It had a lovely dome. I wanted to fly over my house and wave at my Wife. Needless to say. We got escorted back to the airport by 2 National Guard helicopters (gunships) and they were not in a good mood. But, we got the pictures.

These good folks were in a dilemma. Running out of money. That IS a problem. Who has funds and likes a petting zoo, an animal sanctuary? Mike Tyson, Betty White? This was easy.

Did you know. There is a place you can go and get anyones contact info. I will not name names here but, if you needed to call Justin Bieber for instance. You can. We assembled the financials, a picture array of baby kangaroos and tigers and sent it off. The response was immediate. How much, will the owners stay on, are permits in place, etc. Yes, yes and yes. OK, yes. I put together a contract and mailed it. I wanted wet ink on it. The happy owners stayed on with a new silent partner and a fat wallet.

Real estate can be tricky. If there is no buyer, you are stuck with it. Our deal is finding a remedy or dealing with the issues. Trust me, there is always a solution.

My guy had a rural cantina in Mexico. He basically had two options. Give it to the guys with the guns and walk away. Or, get creative. Give me a week to think. He is an old friend and needed some brainstorming. Security and peace of mind. Who has more power than guys with guns? NUNS. I called the 'Big Nun' and ask what she needed. "Well, we could use a location for monthly cookouts with a kitchen". Done. "Anything else while I got ya". "Sure, I will fax you a list". Chuckles. Those guys were out gunned by Nuns. Never messed with him again. And, some of those 'gun guys' helped build a swingset for the kids.

We had a listing. 98 studio and 1 bedroom apartments. 5 seperate buildings. Kinda a big deal but, not really. The focus was selling them all at once, simultaneously, so our client could do a tax deferred exchange. Given the size of the offering, we gave the client a reduction in the fee and in turn, I offered the same reduction to my fellow Realtors.

I get a call from the biggest player in town and he says. "None of my Agents will show the properties unless....He 'did' have 300 Agents. "Unless what"? I said. OK. "I am offering you the same compensation I am willing to work for". He said bye and hung up.

It did not sit right with me. I sold them myself. 3 different buyers, all at once.

Anyway, we were planning an open house. Glorious, historic victorian and needed music. We anticipated a few hundred people. Black ties and black dresses but, what about live music?

I got wind that 'THE GUY' had a Daughter that played harp. A big Harp. Perfect. I call him up and asked if she would be interested. He melted. We became good friends after that. It was an Open House to remember. And the Daughter. Trust me. Hire a Harp Player. She filled that home with magical music.

Fella had a sizeable holding and was interviewing Brokers. I knew my competition and this was not going to be easy. A 9 story office building. Historic. Grand building. Marble and brass elevators. Fully leased and he needed to sell it on the down low. Understandable. 

To make a long story short. I had done some research and discovered he was a Civil War (nut) Buff. He even participated in those weekend reenactments. Had a git up, old musket and all.

Interview went well but, I needed a hook. On the follow up note thanking him for the opportunity, I went to the Post Office. I asked if they had any Civil War commemorative stamps. Sure enough they did. I got the listing. And, we sold his building on the down low.

We were poking around Central Europe looking for an additional site for a client. (actually, on vacation but, I can do two things at once). Our Client had a successful ski business in Germany and they were looking to expand to another location. We are piddling around Austria and Switzerland and went through Liechtenstein. I do a Google and a Wiki and notice something. 

On the Wiki page it said, the Castle in Liechtenstein was guarded by one man and he took lunch from noon till 1:00 pm. Hummmm. Do they really need to share that info? I send an e-mail to 'contact' at 'Prince of Liechtenstein' and get a response. Gal says...can you accept a call? Sure and I gave her my number. A couple days later my phone rings and they say. Can you hold please. "OK".

Guy picks up and says "Is this Mark? I am Hans". (Sure you are and I am Peter Pan, I was thinking). 

Hans Adam. The Prince himself. He went on to say that he appreciated my diligence.  And thanked me again. 

In the many years of construction, renovation, you run into issues. Bones is one of them. That stops things really fast. For good reason. But, I have learned a thing or two. First, before you call the 'State Bone People', remove all your stuff. Bobcat, scaffolding, tools, your lunch box. Your truck because, you won't get them back for 6 weeks or 6 months once they 'yellow tape' the site. We dug up a Historic Graveyard and before we could even alert the authorities (1 hour) these archaeology students at the University got wind of it. That was nothing compared to the Native American Sacred Burial Grounds we happened upon. I still think about all of those souls we accidentally disturbed.

Nearly 70,000 square feet of them. In a partially, temperature and humidity controlled building. My Client was 3rd. generation in the business and his kids had little interest. Their goals were boats, booze and Bentley's. And, how fast they could get cash. I had 'zero' interest in the kids cash flow needs. So, options? An auction, wholesale them, donate, highest and best use for the building. Beach house for the Parents. I have to admit. I know what a book is and I can read them but, beyond that. So, I get to researching. We needed a Realtor Partner with a Phd. in Library Sciences. We found that Partner and sold it all. It is really about the proper team.

They make drywall. Drywall is important. We were called in to liquidate a small holding and were invited to Chicago. In their visiting / lobby area they had all these photos of Gypsum Mines from near and far. Blow up pics. Disgusting actually. When I say small holding, I mean, kinda big. Plus, they paid our way and sprung for lodging. Meeting began and I asked. "Can't you make wallboard outta HEMP. A renewable, fast growing plant, 10 times stronger than mined Gypsum".  The CEO said "Come work for us". I replied. "I have a job, but thanks". Smiles around the room. We handled that small holding and they called us back a few more times.

We kinda knew half the staff at a major metropolitan hospital. Johnny was an upper level manager in maintenance and needed help. He, Twanna and their 5 children were being asked to move from their rental. Both were first time home buyers, no money to speak of and just the nicests Folks. I start looking around and come across this 'trailer'. Well, 'trailers' were not authorized in the State Program for first time homebuyers. The property was rural, on .99 acres (just below the allowable lot size) and surrounded by state conservation land. PERFECT. We wrote an offer because, I had a plan. Johnny and I met with the sellers and they  gave us permission to do some 'creative improvements'. We removed the wheels, jacked it up and put a few cinder blocks under it. Skirted it and there you go. Now it is a 'double wide manufactured' home. It passed inspection (I knew the Inspector) and they got a wonderful place.

I get a call from an old Friend who was doing a historic renovation in Princeton, NJ. I know, why. I am sure Princeton is nice. They were using grant monies and had just 'over extended'. State and Federal tax incentives and a facade easement but, that isn't CASH. Down to the landscaping and that cost could be staggering. I have an idea. "That is why I called you"). Have an open house, BIG one. Invite the Governor. He did. The gig was, to gain entry you needed to bring a plant. Boy, did they bring plants. No one wanted to be 'out done' by the other. One person brought a truck load of trees. A great event and he handled that landscaping issue.

We represented the Seller and Buyer in this wonderful, 3 story, historic, Main Street, mixed use property. The closing was at a bank and we were all waiting patiently for the Sellers Attorney. He had the documents. The conference room faced the street and when the Attorney showed up, the Buyer leaned over and said. "How did he get here". He had parked in back of the building. So, we are signing papers and all of a sudden the door bursts open and there are a dozen FBI types. I knew I did nothing wrong. They cuffed him and hauled him off. OK, but, "we need a check so we can all go to lunch". A few days later it was revealed that the Attorney with our lunch money was wanted for interstate conspiracy and the kilo of cocaine in the trunk of his car. We managed to get it closed.

Do you need to disclose. Probably not but, I do. Tackett and Allen had been trying to sell their office building for some time. I knew both Tackett and Allen and had been bugging them. I can sell that. A beautiful Italianate home converted to office space. FINALLY they said OK.  "Give me 2 weeks". Harriet said, "I will give you three weeks". Delivering that piano for the open house was a chore. One small issue. Years back, 1930 something, the local Sheriff had walked into the parlor and killed his entire family and himself. We 'did' disclose that fact. Another law firm purchased the property. I wonder sometimes. When they use that parlor for closings and meetings, if people know what happened in that room.

We were asked to evaluate an old, abandoned, commercial space. We go over. Large building, brick, lot's of windows, factory. It was in probate and they needed a value. There were issues with squatters. We called the local Law for backup. One of those Officers brought his dog. Not sure if that dog was working or just wanted a car ride and head rubs. We were safe. The place was covered in poison oak. We all look at each other and some Guy says".  Look for people with a rash". I am not going in there without the dog. We had the ivy handled (maybe) and pitched the property to a local Horticulturalists firm. They bought the building and everyone was happy.

The receptionist walked into my office and said. "Line two, some guy named Jimmy".  "I don't know any Jimmy's, Jimmy who"? "Carter". she said. Asked for you. I pick up. 

Instantly, I knew who Jimmy was. He had heard that we were using GIS to do some progressive things. It was in the newspapers. Asked if we had time to help Habitat. "Yes, we do".  We talked in length and soon began locating available lot's locally for Habitat for Humanity. Truly, a nice Man. We went on to assist several other brokerages nationwide with GIS implementation. It was very rewarding work.

Let us look at your project.

If we can not help, we certainly know someone that can.